Tuesday, 12 January 2016

Being a Late Bloomer.

Today's post is inspired by a video I watched a few months ago where a girl just slightly older than me was discussing the idea of being what she called a 'late bloomer'. She was talking about how it took her an extra few years than other people to get to university and do the kinds of things her friends were doing with their lives. What she was saying really struck a chord in me because she was basically describing a lot of feelings I've been having for the past year or so.  

This year is my fourth year at college. I don't have bad grades, just an indecisive mind and in a lot of ways I've never felt confident enough at things I should of been pursuing. If you've been reading my blog for a while you'll know that photography is my thing, but it took me a long time to realise that I could do something with it. It sounds cheesy but having a blog and reading really lovely comments about my images was the first time I'd really been complimented on my photographs. When I was around 14 my first experience with photography was borrowing my dad's cheap Lumix digital camera and I took loads of photographs of plants in my garden. I showed them to one of my friends who was really into photography and he told me they were rubbish. So being the impressionable teen that I was I decided to not bother with photography and it really wasn't until I started blogging that I really took it seriously again. 

I'm in my second year of doing a photography A Level and I've only in the past week felt good enough for what I really want to do with my life. The past few years have been rough for me in many ways but I do believe life has its own timings and sometimes we have to wait longer for things we feel should of come along sooner. I went to my first university interview yesterday and was a complete ball of nerves. Even though people have been giving me pep talks for the past week I still felt like I wasn't good enough to go to university. I sat down with my interviewer and before I even opened my portfolio he told me how impressed he was with everything I had done outside of college, I was stunned but still nervous as he'd not seen my work yet. I opened my portfolio and he actually complimented a lot of my images. Long story short something I was very stressed about turned out to be a lovely experience and this morning I checked my emails to find an offer from that very university! 

I can't quite believe it to be honest with you but I'm so happy and it's suddenly become very real that I can go to university this year. 

So being a late bloomer if you want to call it that. I'm still only 20, I have plenty of time to do the things I want to do. My friends may be already doing things I'd like to be doing, but here's the thing having more time isn't a bad thing. Yes in that moment you may be down and dwelling on missing out on things, but in reality you're not. Sometimes we have to play the waiting game in life, I've been miserable for the past 4 years but since setting myself goals in the past year it's really motivated me to work hard now for what's to come later. 

I know this wasn't the most typical of posts but blogging for me isn't just about sharing products I like and nice things that I'm up to. Sometimes I simply think about what I would of needed to hear a year or so ago and I have to make a post that reminds me and any of you that things do get better x

Tuesday, 5 January 2016

Hello 2016.

So it seems 2016 is finally here. I for one can't fathom where exactly 2015 went but I am excited for a new year like never before. If you've been reading my blog for a while you'll know that my college experience has lasted way longer than I anticipated (purely due to my indecisiveness). But this year I am definitely finishing and I may be finished by spring time! I'm also starting the new year carrying on the job I got in December and I may actually be going to University after this summer! 

I generally suffer from seasonal affect disorder at this time of year and it can be hard to be optimistic and excited about anything. But I genuinely feel like I have things to look forward to especially where friendships are concerned, and I can't wait for the summer time again. However January is going to be a busy and stressful month for me. Not only do I have work five days a week and coursework deadlines for the end of the month, I also have a tonne of pre interview work for the Universitys I'm applying for and will be popping down for my first interview next week. 

So inevitably this corner of the internet won't be getting too much of my attention but I do have a few things planned. After January my goal is to get my s**t together and finally get organised with everything. I'll only have a couple of interviews to prepare for alongside work and I should be able to handle my exam work a lot better than my major project. 

Thanks for all your support in 2015. I know I've been a bit vacant in the last year but 2016 is going to see more posts and videos and I'm even thinking about changing the blog up a little. 

Happy new year!