Saturday, 18 October 2014

A Quick Stop + Coping With Loss | A Little Chat

It's been a strange few days for me, on Thursday my family drove up to Lancashire for my Grandad's funeral the day after. If you've been reading my blog for a while you'll know that I go to my grandparent's a lot, I was close to my Grandad and it didn't seem real being told he'd passed away, and it didn't hit me properly until the morning of the funeral. Unfortunately this wasn't the first time I've coped with loss, as my friend Robyn died over two years ago. We all deal with it differently and it can be hard to talk to people about it because they're being affected by it too. With my Grandad passing I didn't really talk about it properly until the day of the funeral, because I don't live that close to them it wasn't like it was confronted with me, but at the same time I felt awful and couldn't really concentrate at college. But at the funeral when you actually hear people say their name, and remind you of all the good times, that's when it really hit me and I was crying so much because I really loved my Grandad and it seems just so wrong that he''s not around anymore. 

Obviously I am not qualified to talk about coping with loss, but I do have experience like most people and I just wanted to share some things that I think about the subject:

It's ok not to cry

People understand that everyone deals with loss differently, we all are emotionally different so don't feel bad if you're not crying when you find out or at the funeral, you're not being judged. When my friend died I was a complete wreck, it was such a shock and I just felt awful that I had no idea what was going on. But when my Grandad died I didn't cry until the funeral and some people didn't cry at all, circumstances differ and people cope with things differently, that's life and don't feel bad about it.

If you need to talk to someone don't hesitate

I know it's hard when other people are coping with loss too but don't keep things bottled up, the person you approach could be struggling to approach someone too and it can really help you to deal with what's happening. It's something I've struggled to do, but it really can really help you with bottling things up which it is easy to do in this situation.

Do talk about your memories of them, no matter how silly

It is a sensitive time, but for me mourning about people just can't be about the sadness of it all and I don't think the person would want you to be sad either, of course it will make you sad at points but do remember all the good things about that person, it will make you glad they were part of you life.

Thanks so much for reading, I know this post was different but with everything that's happened I just needed to get my thoughts out and I know how hard it can be to lose someone who was a big part of your life. If you can take anything from this post I want it to be how important it is to tell people how much they mean to you, because it is so true what they say that you don't really appreciate someone until they're gone.

If you would like to read about my friend Robyn click here

Before I finish up I thought I would share a few photos that I took at a quick stop on the drive home, it was just such a dreamy place and the sun was shining too.