Thursday, 6 March 2014

Robyn



Today's post is going to be a lot different from what I normally do but instead of putting a beauty related post together I wanted to talk about something more personal to me. Two years ago on this day one of my best friends took her life. As you can imagine it came as a massive shock to everyone that knew her including me. She was someone I looked up to and seemed so strong, but underneath she was struggling with depression which I wasn't even aware of until she passed. I also found out that I was her best friend which honestly made me feel guilty other than anything else, that I couldn't see the pain she was going through and that I didn't let her know how much she meant to me. 

I found out the news when a girl in my business class turned to me and asked if I had heard about it. To be frank I was mortified at what she told me, I barely knew her and the fact she felt compelled to say something so horrible really shocked me. I went on to text Robyn to find out if she was ok but I got no reply. I'd not heard from her in a few days and the last I had heard was a text that simply read "goodbye Emily xx" and honestly I just didn't clock on at all. After that lesson we had a break and I just sat there frozen, the rest of my friends asked what was wrong and I told them what I had been told but they just kept smiling and said that it wasn't true. However half an hour into the next lesson and we were told to go to an "emergency assembly" I already started crying and no one got why, I just kept going "it's true, this is it" and my friend who was with me told me to calm down. 

When we got in there all my teachers were stood around us all as my year group sat down, you could hear a pin drop. Looking back I felt so bad for my head teacher, she had to read a letter from Robyn's mother about what had happened. I've always been one to bottle up emotions but I just couldn't stop crying and neither could my friend who was sat on the opposite row. We were allowed to go home home early that day and didn't go to lessons for the rest of that week. It was one of the worst weeks of my life and I still think about her everyday missing her and just feeling guilty about the way she must have felt in her last days and that I never really showed her how much I valued her.

I'm going to finish up this post here but if there is one thing I want you to take from me sharing this with you is how important it is to show people how much you care about them. It really is true that you don't fully appreciate something until you no longer have it. So make sure you show your appreciation for others, smile at people who look like they are having a bad day and tell your family how much they mean to you. Little things like this can make such a big difference to someone because you never know what they are going through on the inside.

Thanks so much for reading xx